Vows

Let’s be honest: the word “vows” can feel a bit heavy. It usually brings to mind old-fashioned traditions or formal scripts that feel serious and sometimes, even a bit scary! But when you strip away the stuffiness, your vows can be what they should be, the promises you make to each other on your wedding day. They are the moment the world goes quiet and you get to tell your person exactly why you are choosing them, for forever.

Your story is built on months, years, sometimes decades of moments together, the ups and downs, the in-jokes, the little things which make your relationship unique…those are the things that belong in your vows. Your forever isn’t a vague concept; it is the person who knows exactly how you like your tea (Yorkshire, obvs) your favourite tv or movie quotes, or the story behind the emo song lyrics you’ve got tattooed on you. As a humanist celebrant, the best part of the job is helping you include these little details in your ceremony.

The Power of the In-Joke

I am a big believer that the most heartfelt moments often come wrapped in a bit of humour. Whether it is a nod to that one disastrous festival camping trip, a promise to always stop for snacks, or the multitude of nicknames you have for your cat or dog, those in-jokes are what make your commitment feel real. We can weave those tiny, funny threads into your vows. It is those little sparks of personality and insight into your love story that turns a standard ceremony into something truly memorable.

Three Ways to Say “I Do”

Not everyone expresses love in the same way, and in a Humanist ceremony we have the total freedom to do things your way. Here are the three most popular paths we can take:

• The DIY Approach: You write your own from scratch. I’ll provide prompts and a bit of cheerleading energy along the way to help you hit that balance of humour and heart. This is perfect if you have a specific story to tell or a quote or song lyric you’ve been dying to use.
• The Repeat After Me: If the thought of holding a piece of paper makes your hands shake, you can repeat short phrases after me. This allows you to stay present and look into each other’s eyes rather than at a script.
• The “I Do” Questions: I can craft a series of meaningful questions based on our planning chats. You simply answer “I do” or “I promise.” This is a beautiful, low-pressure way to commit to forever if you prefer to keep the public speaking to a minimum.

The Secret Exchange

One of the most joyful ways to handle vows is to keep them a surprise. There is something about hearing those promises for the first time while you are standing in front of each other, surrounded by loved ones. To make this work without the stress, I can be the person who holds onto your words. You both send your drafts to me separately, and I make sure the vibes match.

Ready to start your next chapter?

Whether you want to write a love letter to each other or have me craft the words for you, I am here to help. Let’s make your commitment to forever feel 100% like you.